I remember clearly the rigors of the house search. I felt like Goldilocks; this one’s too small, this one’s too big, this one’s too old, this one’s too expensive, this one needs too much work. We searched for months and even put our search on hold for a while. One morning I was looking through the MLS listings our realtor had sent thinking how none of the houses matched our needs. That’s when our home appeared in a Zillow search. When we viewed it, we knew immediately that this house would be our home. This one was just right. Here we are more than 18 years later, and I’m learning what to do when a home becomes just a house.
Feel the Feelings
We make memories in our homes. Holidays and special occasions are shared, we celebrate wins and grieve losses in our homes. Photos are taken, laughs are shared, tears are shed. Then one day, children grow up and move away and we are left with a house that is much too large, a lawn we no longer want to care for, and utility bills that could be shed. When a home becomes a house, the one thing we must do first is feel the feelings.
I have gone through all the emotions. It is no secret I’ve had a love-hate relationship with this house. I’ve convinced myself it was haunted, and more than once I’ve ranted over needless repairs due to shoddy, builder-grade workmanship. I’ve pondered why in a house that is nearly 4,000 square feet, we don’t have any better storage solutions.
This house holds so many memories. We raised our children here. There were celebrated anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays here. I beat cancer here. I lost my father and a sister while living here. While there are amazing, good, beautiful memories, there are also memories I would rather leave behind.
Since our move last spring, this home has slowly become a house. We’ve sold furniture we no longer need, donated countless truck loads to charity, and have slowly packed up what remains. Each time, I feel the feelings and know we are embarking on something greater than what lies behind us.
Keep the Dream Alive
When a home becomes a house, it is important to keep the dream alive. We buy and sell homes because there is something greater on the other side. When we purchase homes, it’s because there is the hope of a future in that place. When we sell a home, it’s because we are embarking on something altogether new.
As I spend time packing boxes and cleaning out the storage room, I look at the items I’ve stored for more than 18 years and I think, “Why did I ever keep this?” The answer is simple: because we thought we might need it one day. Now we are starting a new kind of journey, something exciting and fresh. We won’t be needing that extra furniture, the literal stack of table cloths, or the seven Christmas trees.
But saying goodbye isn’t a sad thing. Saying goodbye is just a chapter closing because a new one is being written. Each box we donate, each cycle of trash that goes out, I remind myself that in this great purge, we are literally working toward a new thing, and we are keeping the dream alive. You can’t move forward if you continually hold onto the past.
Embrace the Changes
That is why, when a home becomes a house, it is so important to embrace the changes as they come. Look for the good, find the joy, experience the excitement in the adventure. While our adventure doesn’t look like yours, each new thing that comes along requires us to flex and move with it. We must be willing to embrace the newness of the next chapter or we will continually feel lost and out of place.
There is a freedom in purging items from an old life and moving with hope into a new one. New beginnings give us opportunities for fresh experiences, fresh perspectives, and fresh acquaintances. Letting go of the things we no longer need allows us to live in the present moment instead of being continually locked in the past.
Remind Yourself of Your Why
Embrace the changes. Keep the dream alive. Feel the feelings. These are all things I tell myself each time I’m back at our house prepping it to sell, packing up boxes, and hauling load after load to the donation center.
Our home has become a house. As we get ready to list it for sale, I honestly remember how great this place is to raise children: the backyard, the neighborhood full of kids, the hill for sledding, the open concept space, and large finished basement. It is a young family’s dream!
I find myself envisioning the family who will move in. They will embark on their own journey. They will make new memories, make their own repairs, and celebrate life’s occasions. They’ll take photos and celebrate holidays. There will be sleepovers and backyard camp outs, and there will be bonfires around the fire pit we built.
We are leaving almost two decades of memories here. But they go with us. It’s time for our house to become someone else’s home. It’s time for them to live their adventures here. Our adventure awaits us somewhere else. Our home has become a house again… and it’s time to share this place with someone new.
Be like Bilbo
Bilbo Baggins said, “I think I’m quite ready for another adventure.” As I walk through the rooms of this house making notes of cosmetic repairs and windows that need cleaned, I breathe in the memories, and I embrace the hope of what lies before us. This home has become a house again. And we are quite ready for our next adventure.
Wherever the road takes you, embrace the change, keep the dream alive, feel the feelings! And don’t forget to forward your mail.
