There is an art in cultivating contentment. In a world where we are bombarded at every turn with store ads, social media posts, and influencers all trying to convince us to purchase the next great thing, finding contentment can be challenging. There is an old proverb that says, “Happy is the man who has what he wants.” That’s why I want to take a moment to chat about the good practice of cultivating contentment.
“Happy is the man who wants what he has”
01. Be content with what you already have
I grew up in a small, two bedroom house with no air conditioning. In the heat of summer, I learned to be content with a box fan and a cool breeze. After living there for two or three summers, we eventually got two window unit air conditioners; one in the front living room window, the other in the back bedroom window. These two units were sufficient to cool the house to a ‘tolerable’ temperature. But after having lived with no air conditioning, we were content with tolerable.
A few years later, when John and I first married, we had very little. We started in a two-bedroom apartment with a hand-me-down bedroom suit, a lamp he made tin 4-H, and a three-legged sofa someone graciously gave us. We propped up the back with a small stack of books. We had no end-tables; we used cardboard boxes, turned upside and covered with a bath towel as end tables. But having started out with so little, we were so grateful for the little we had.
Whether we have plenty, or whether we have little, there is great comfort that comes from being content with what we already have. In fact, it’s an act of gratitude that says, “We may not have much, but what we have is ours.” From that sentiment comes a great deal of contentment.
02. Comparison is the enemy of contentment
I remember visiting other couples our age. Their apartments seemed color coordinated and up-to-date with their decor. It was as if a light bulb of realization that what they had was far greater than what we had. And that was when comparison crept in and endangered my contentment.
Suddenly I wanted to spend more time shopping – even though we couldn’t afford it. I wanted to add throw pillows and art work and nick knacks. What I found was that spending money we didn’t have didn’t make me happier. Given that we had a 1970s brown plaid, three-legged sofa, well, no amount of decorative pillows could help that situation.
I had allowed comparison to become the enemy of contentment.
03. We must cultivate contentment
Sometimes it’s easy to feel like the world is moving so quickly around us that we may never catch up. Certainly, we can find ourselves feeling discontent. It comes in many forms and fashions….
But there is a way to counteract this discontentment, no matter what its source. That is the act of gratitude. Gratitude is the simple practice of cultivating contentment. The simple, daily habit of gratitude can stop discontent in its tracks.
When you’re discontent with your job, stop for a moment and remember the bills your salary pays. You have food, you have shelter, you have the necessities.
When you’re discontent with your home, being grateful for what you already have will ease your heart’s discontent and will make you appreciate your home more.
The simple act of diverting discontent with gratitude will change your life! Even if nothing else in your life changes, you will change. You will carry a heart of happiness and joy in spite of the things that once bothered you. You will find appreciation and thanksgiving for things you once disliked.
04. Sharing your contentment with others breeds contentment in others
Want to know what we discovered in that tiny two-bedroom apartment with the plaid sofa and mismatched furniture? We found that what we had was enough. We discovered that even though we had very little, as long as we had each other, we had it all. Cardboard box end tables and 4-H lamps were all we needed.
And when we shared our contentment with others, it bread contentment in others. When we practice cultivating contentment, we find more and more things to be content with.
When we constantly see others buying the newest thing, or traveling to the latest locale, or dining at the latest restaurant, we can sometimes feel like we are missing something. But the opposite of that is also true. I think social media calls it, de-influencing.
But what happens if we take it one step further? What if we actively express gratitude for what we have… a car with a rusty bumper, or a set of mis-matched silverware, or a winter coat that is a few seasons old? When we are thankful for the things we have, others notice. Cultivating contentment is contagious and allows others to view their lives with deeper gratitude as well.
05. Happy is the man…
So that old proverb: Happy is the man who wants what he has…. You know something? It’s true. You will never find more peace and joy in life than when you find contentment. But let’s not wait until we find it. Let’s begin the good practice, today, of cultivating it.
