Courage, Dignity, & Gentility

Courage, dignity, & gentility are words most of us don’t hear during daily conversation. However, they are words we should consider no matter what phase of life we are in.

Please understand, it is not my intention to trigger anyone; if you disagree, it’s alright, you’re still welcome here. We can disagree with each other and still respect one another. Even when we don’t see eye-to-eye we can always operate with courage, dignity and gentility.

We all must operate with courage. Life is challenging, decisions are difficult, and things are complicated. It’s when we have to face the challenging, difficult, and complicated things with courage that we must also decide whether or not we will face them with dignity and gentility.

Victoria Magazine, September – October 2024

I just received my autumn issue of Victoria Magazine. *This post is not sponsored. Inside the front cover are always reader’s letters sent to the publication. This month, I read a letter from a woman from Coopersburg, Pa. She writes:

“Growing up in a decade where women seemed to think that pushing ahead was where power and attraction lie, I was moved and shaped by these women [referencing articles in Victoria magazine], who quite contrarily proved that there is more strength in gentleness. There is a quiet confidence in a silent story. To me, that is how women prove themselves to be leaders: By holding gentility, dignity, and courage.” ~Janelle Dawn Allspach~

As we embrace change and begin to live outside the boxes we’ve been in our entire lives, sometimes we have to choose how we respond to certain things. As a woman in her fifties, I have also found that choosing to face change with confidence, means choosing gentleness, dignity, and courage as well.

Downsizing, Life-changes, and Redirection

At first, I found downsizing wasn’t a terrible task. It was easy to discard the duplicate items, the over-worn, and under-utilized things. What became more challenging was downsizing the heirloom things: the hand-me-down quilt, the cross-stitch wall hanging, the serving bowl. While those aren’t challenging in the same vein as say, a life-threatening illness, choosing to part with sentimental things can cause grief and anxiety.

What hadn’t sunk in completely was that this exercise in downsizing ultimately meant we were experiencing a life-change. This life-change was the result of a redirection. We were reforming our way of life as we had always known it. That realization took a minute to process.

Not only was the change exciting – and it was very exciting – it was also a complete redirection from the life we had known. As the newness wore off, there were days I had to face the newness with courage. I had to remain dignified, and I had to treat myself gently. Adjusting to change takes time. Even when it’s a change you wanted.

The Comparison Trap

As our lives changed, and I found freedom in my role of motherhood, I found myself falling prey to the comparison trap of social media, namely Pinterest and YouTube. Oh, I wanted the clean house, and the travel vlogs, and the updated wardrobe. I called it my transition from motherhood to otherhood: I was becoming someone other than I had been for nearly twenty-five years. I wasn’t quite sure who that was.

Again, some days took more courage than others. I had to treat myself gently and remind myself to face the day with dignity.

Finding The Person I Wanted to Be

The summer days shortened and evening came early in the central time zone. Nearly every day was dark by 4:45 p.m. Days spent poolside transitioned to afternoons at the gym. Warm summer nights by the fire pit turned into cold winter evenings snuggled under a blanket.

Reading and journaling became hobbies of choice. With them I learned a few things social media doesn’t teach. I learned that it’s okay to be myself. It’s okay to live a simpler, smaller life. I learned a smaller lifestyle allowed for a bigger experiential one. And also, I learned that as our lives change, we have the opportunity to change, too.

As the letter writer Janell Dawn Allspach said, “There is a quiet confidence in a silent story. To me, that is how women [we] prove themselves [ourselves] to be leaders: By holding gentility, dignity, and courage.”

Whatever Path Life Takes Us

Whatever path life takes us down, I want to face every twist and turn, every ebb and flow, every rise and fall by holding gentility, dignity, and courage. Those are the things that keep us in check. We can face anything, if we set our minds on these three things.

Whether you’re a new empty nester, are facing downsizing, or starting over at a certain age, you are sure to experience challenges along with excitement and joy. Let this be a gentle encouragement to face them well. Face them with gentility, dignity, and with courage.