Hello friend. I’m so happy you’re here. I’m sitting my the fire in the glow of the Christmas tree, coffee in hand, dryer humming quietly in the background. I’ve been doing so much thinking about gifts lately. If you’re a regular reader of the blog then you’ve probably noticed. It’s kind of a hazard this time of year, isn’t it? All the gift buying, gift making, gift giving… It’s all festive and joyful and if gift giving is one of your love language, then this season is where you shine. But what about the gift you give yourself? I want to talk to you about that today, because I’ve found something very important about gift giving and the gifts we give ourselves.
Here it is, by the way: Our Christmas tree, 2024. This is the glow from which I write to you today.
The act of being present
I recently watched a video about morning routines. Whether you are an early riser or a last minute waker, everyone has a version of a morning routine. Some (like me) rise earlier than the dawn, sit by the fire in the Christmas tree glow with their coffee. Others get up, head straight to the gym or shower, and are off to begin their day. Even if you’re one who hits snooze three times and rushes to make it to your day on time, this is still a morning routine of sorts.
The woman in the video mentioned a book she was reading, written by monks, about keeping a clean and tidy home. One thing she mentioned was the act of being present. The monks suggest rising early (4:30 a.m.), opening a window to air out your home, and then doing your cleaning tasks in silence.
Why silence? I like to get up, put on some soothing music, start my day with a calm playlist. But, I thought I would give it a try. And do you know what I found? Silence is truly golden. You hear the shuffling of your slippers on the floor, the wind chime outside the window, the furnace kick on. You hear the coffee brew, and the fireplace crackle. You hear.
Most of all, you become present in your own life. And for most of us, that’s a bit uncommon. We have so many distractions from the moment we wake up. Our phones, the news, YouTube, tiktok, Snapchat, blogs, emails – music… We rarely give ourselves the space to actually sit with our thoughts and be present.
The beauty of silence
For some silence is the enemy. There must always be noise. Background noise, music noise, tv noise, just something to drown out whatever is going on in our headspace. But there is so much research around the benefit of silence. In the book, The Miracle Morning, Hal Elrod speaks to starting your day in silence. Other authors highly recommend silence as a form of meditation to start your day. Now the monks are recommending that we clean our houses in silence. Why?
I thought I’d give it a try and see what happened. I’m a tester of theories like that. As I woke up, I opened my bedroom window. It was 44 degrees outside this morning, and that blast of cold air was both refreshing and chilling. But mostly refreshing. I slipped on my fluffy house slippers and walked down the stairs. I turned on the coffee maker. I started the dryer. And I heard all of it. Every step, every rotation of the dryer drum, every gurgle from the coffee pot.
Then, as I waited for the coffee to finish brewing, I turned my attention to a stack of table cloths that needed folding. I stood infant of the fireplace folding these 108 inch long fabrics. But my mind suddenly wandered back to the event where they were used. I remembered the laughter, the fondness of friendships, and the blessing of another Friendsgiving spent with people I cherish. My mind listened to the silence, and remembered a treasured moment.
So many variations
There are so many variations to the phrase, “the gift you give yourself.” Google says forgiveness is the gift you give yourself. Bing says love is the gift you give yourself. Pinterest says charity is the gift you give yourself. Like so many other gifts, I believe it depends on what you need to receive.
Giving a new car to someone who cannot drive is not a very practical gift. And so, if you need to forgive, forgive. If you need to love, love. If you need to be generous, be generous. We all know instinctively what gift we need. For me, being present in the silence was exactly what I needed this morning. I needed to silence my to do list and to focus on one simple task at a time. Instinctively, I needed to embrace the warmth of the fireplace and the soft glow of the Christmas tree. And I needed to share this experience with you! Why? Because maybe you need to listen to the silence, too. To be present in the folding of laundry, or to feel the softness of the bubbles as you wash dishes, or to hear the water running.
There is something profoundly grounding to this practice of being present in the silence. Something very soothing about intentionally focusing on the sounds of your own breathing, footsteps, or your home. I encourage you to listen and to take note of these things. They are blessings we often overlook; that go unnoticed. Take notice, friend and be thankful.
The season of gift giving
It is truly the season of gift-giving. But while you are out shopping or purchasing gifts online, give yourself a gift as well. Allow yourself a few stolen moments each day to embrace the day, to do something for yourself, and to be present in the moment. Your to do list will be there in fifteen minutes, it will certainly still be there tomorrow. The world will not shatter if you embrace a moment of peace and tranquility. Turn off the distractions, sit in the silence for five minutes, and just see if you feel better equipped to face your day. Be present; it is truly the gift you give yourself.
John & Billie
