caring for home:
Do you look at photos online or in a magazine and think, “Why doesn’t my home feel like that?” Pinterest, Instagram, and Designer websites are filled with pictures that create interest, and evoke emotions when we view them. Creative marketing causes us to feel a certain way when we view these homes, and if they’ve done their jobs well, marketers leave us feeling like we need to buy something, update something, or completely revamp something. But I recently realized the one key to designing a home you love, and I want to share this simple knowledge with you today.
It all started with…
I have a wonderful online community I am privileged to spend time with each week. These people are fun and funny, creative and inspirational, encouraging and supportive. I love spending time with these people – and I only know two of the hundreds that show up each week.
One of the ladies (and host of the group) is an interior stylist and as she was recently sharing some master-class level information it occurred to me that everything she styles looks amazing. And she doesn’t break the bank either. She works within a budget and still creates phenomenal spaces.
And that’s how it all began. I started watching a you tube channel six years ago, then started following creators on Instagram, and watching what these seemingly-more-creative-than-me-people were pinning to their Pinterest accounts.
So I asked myself…
What do these people know that I don’t know? What is their secret? Why do their rooms always look so put together, so well curated, so…. AMAZING? Is it because they are professionals, or is it something else entirely?
The rooms they create look high end, and curl-up-on-the-sofa comfortable at the same time. Throw pillows are meant for lounging or napping. Blankets are meant to be snuggled under. Candles are meant to be burned. Lighting is meant to set a mood. So why doesn’t my home feel that way, too? Do you feel that, too?
And here’s what I learned…
As I watched my friend style a coffee table, she touched each piece as if it were her favorite. Each book created excitement in her. Every item she placed on a decorative tray had both a meaning and a purpose. Bowls were for holding moss or moss balls, or ceramic balls, or pinecones from her yard. Candles were lit to create a scent in her home.
Then, because she is a stylist, she removed everything, quickly swapped coffee tables, and began again. Two different looks; two different styles. Same. Exact. Outcome. STUNNING.
Then she moved to the console table and began again. And still again, the dining table. Finally, she finished up by styling her kitchen counter. Each item she used, whether book, vase, faux floral, travertine, marble or wood, sparked a joy within her.
And that’s the lesson…
When every item we have in our home creates joy, (not to sound like Marie Kondo here), we end up with entire spaces that create joy.
Color palette is important when it comes to making your home feel and look cohesive. Style is important to a degree. Scale is monumental (no pun intended) to make vignettes flow well together. But the one key to designing a home you love, is starting with individual pieces you love.
When every piece is a treasure, every book is one you would visit and revisit over and over again, and every aspect of your room individually is something you love, then the entire room will be something you love, and want to come home to. And that’s the lesson.
But what if I don’t love my home?
We’ve all been there – we end up creating a space that looks like something from instagram or Pinterest. We buy what’s ‘trending’ in design, or what the people online say we should buy, or what’s on sale 40% at the Hobby store. We fall victim to FOMO, and we make unnecessary purchases because we think these things will make our homes look and feel a certain way. Sadly, many times, these items fall flat and end up making our homes simply look disconnected and cluttered.
So my advice to you, friend, is simple. Start looking at your rooms – or just one room – or just one table… and ask yourself this question: “Do I love this item?”. Ask that question of every item you own. If you were shopping today, would you still purchase this item? Better yet, if this item were offered to you as a freebie – would you be excited to receive it?
If the answer is a firm, ‘no’, then maybe it’s time to donate it, sell it, or simply share it with a friend. Don’t be held down by guilt – guilt because someone gave it to you, guilt because you spent money on it, guilt because your style changed… Simply recognize that it served your former self, but it doesn’t serve your present self.
Even if you end up with a room that is mostly empty, I dare say you will feel more settled, more at home, more comfortable in that space, than in a room filled with items you do.not.love.
Everything begins and ends…
I run the risk of oversimplifying, but designing a home you love begins and ends with loving each individual item on its own, first. Only purchase the items you truly love. Carefully choose to keep the items you truly love. And you will end up designing a home you truly love.
