We aren’t your typical kind of people. We have always marched to the beat of our own drum. In fact, we took a lot of criticism and met a lot of skepticism about it when we were young. We married before we were twenty, bought our first house when we were 23, started a business before we were thirty, and raised two kids in private school on one income. We tried to live every minute to the fullest. We hear people our age talk about finding their forever home, but like so much else, we are doing things differently. We believe your forever home isn’t necessarily a place, but a mindset. And the mindset of your forever home is always within your grasp.
Home
The saying goes, “Home is where your heart is.” I believe that’s true. And if that is true, then your forever home is also wherever your heart is. It is where your heart finds belonging, finds peace, finds rest, and finds comfort. Home is where memories are made, promises are kept, and futures are planned. It is the place where dreams come true, tears are shed, and important moments are celebrated.
While that place may be one single home for some, it may be many homes for others. Home may be an apartment, a single story ranch, a two story walk out, an RV, or a tiny home. It may be one or many of those things. Home isn’t necessarily the place, but the feeling.
Importance of Home
The true importance of home is in the people you surround yourself with, the friends, the family, the loved ones, and the memories you make while you’re there. Some memories will be good; others will be bad. But each one shapes us and molds us into the people we have become, and the people we will continue to become.
There is an old Celtic saying, “Happy is the man who wants what he has.” Isn’t that the opposite of what the world tells us? Every influencer on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube wants to convince us that it’s the opposite. That to be truly happy you have to have what you want. But there is so much happiness in finding solitude and contentment in what we already have; even if it’s the very least. Home allows us to experience that every day, to practice contentment, to experience joy in the every-day moments.
Home is about people
You know, we have lived in our rental apartment for a little over a year now. We lived in our house for eighteen years. Since we moved here, we have made deeper friendships, found like-minded people, and let go of the drive to keep up with the Joneses.
Last year, we had the opportunity to drive our neighbor’s jeep across the country for him. He was moving from Kentucky to Nevada. He rented a moving van, loaded it with his belongings, his motorcycle, and towed his restored Corvette. But he couldn’t get his Jeep there without it costing him thousands of dollars. We had the opportunity to take a couple days off work, pack a bag, and drive his Jeep to Reno. It was a beautiful trip and those three days will forever be etched in my memory.
We also found friends in the medical field. One is nurse, the other is a traveling nurse anesthetist. They moved to Tennessee recently, and we are currently planning a trip to go see them. It will be amazing to spend time with them again and laugh about days spent at the pool, and nights sitting by the fire pit.
These friends have moved to new locations, but they remain part of ‘home’ for us. No matter where we go, their voices, their laughter, their stories will also go with us. And we hope ours will go with them, as well.
Home isn’t about stuff
This has been such an important lesson to me this year. As we have downsized and decluttered thirty four years of stuff, I have become keenly aware that it is just that; STUFF. Switchfoot sings a song and one of the lyrics says, “you possess your possessions or they possess you.” There was a time I didn’t want to get rid of anything. Not one set of sheets, not one book, not one piece of artwork, not one set of dishes, not one single thing. Because it symbolized home to me.
But if the house burned down tonight…those things would still just be things. The truly important things we would keep with us; the memories, the stories, the love, and the joy. Dishes and bedding can be replaced. Artwork and books can be rebought. Home isn’t about the stuff. Home is about the feeling, and the memories, and the wonder of living.
Letting go of items stored in the basement and garage really freed me to enjoy what I decided to keep. Letting go of things that reminded me of past hurts, freed my heart to feel joy again. Mourning what could have been, and should have been, allowed me to let go and move forward. And it helped me understand that none of this stuff had any relation to home. It was simply, stuff.
Too Young
Nat King Cole said it best: “They try to tell us we’re too young. Too young to really be in love. …And yet we’re not too young to know. This love will last though years may go. And then someday they may recall. We were not too young at all.”
This song always feels like home to me. It kind of sums up our lives. We weren’t too young at all. And now, while some are searching for their forever homes, John and I have always, already, had ours. Home is where the heart is.
Right now, home is in Kentucky. But we’re already thinking of where the next home will be…
