For Women Who Feel Overwhelmed: There is hope

Welcome back, friend! It’s been a long time. I have missed you. It feels like an eternity since we’ve shared cups of comforting warmth and sat with our feet curled beneath us while snuggled in on a soft cushion. For the last few weeks I have been busy rebranding and rebuilding the website. What I thought was going to be an easy flip of the switch, apply a new theme, make a few tweaks….well…that was not the situation at all. I continually felt overwhelmed and frustrated. There was so much to learn, so many things to fix, and so much I wanted to include. But it constantly made me think of all our readers who may be experiencing the same feelings about life. This, friend, is for all the women who feel overwhelmed. I see you. There is hope.

01. You don’t have to do it all

Isn’t that a comforting statement? Sometimes we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. We have to parent the children, volunteer at school or church – or both. We have to endure the carpool line. Plus, we have to maintain the home, the laundry, the shopping and our girlish figure. We have to be kind and gracious, even when we’re tired and frustrated. We can’t wear our feelings on our sleeve or let our tone of voice slip. Heaven forbid we should lose our temper or burst into tears from it all.

When we feel as if we have to do it all, be it all, present ourselves as being altogether put-together, all.the.time, life becomes overwhelming. And if we aren’t careful, we will start to feel resentful, and lose our joy.

The truth is, we don’t have to do it all. We weren’t meant to do it all. No one is.

02. The Proverbs 31 woman

Let’s just settle this once and for all. The Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t one singular woman. Instead, the passage in Proverbs 31 is a how-to manual of where we discover our gifts. OUR gifts. And by the way, these gifts are not one size fits all.

I have a dear friend who is an amazing physical therapist. She has healing hands. I have a sister-in-law who homeschools her three children with grace. She is an astounding teacher and her daughters are a treasure. I have another friend who is a born encourager. She posts motivational content to social media almost daily and people are gaining health because of her words. Still another friend is a college professor who put her career on hold to help her children thrive in a very broken world. She is an amazing mother and her family is truly blessed by her.

It is when we try to do it all, and be it all that we begin to feel overwhelmed. So with that, I want to leave you with something that changed my feelings of overwhelm to feelings of gratitude.

03. Know the gifts

Let’s begin by looking at the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman. Are you ready?

• Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value (31:11)
• She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life (31:12)
• She selects wool and flax and works eagerly with her hands (31:13)
• She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar (31:14)
• She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants (31:15)
• She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. (31:16)
• She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks (31:17)
• She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night (31:18)
• In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers (31:19)
• She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy (31:20)
• When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (31:21)
•  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. (31:22)
• Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. (31:23)
• She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. (31:24)
• She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. (31:25)
• She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (31:26)
• She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (31:27)
• Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
   “Many women do noble things,
      but you surpass them all.”
   Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
      but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
   Honor her for all that her hands have done,
      and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (31:28-31)

Within these 20 verses, we can deduce that there are gifts the Proverbs 31 woman emulates.

First, she is good for and to her husband and does not bring him harm. He is well respected and can fulfill his purpose because she is his faithful companion. (11, 12, 23).

Second, she does well by and for her family. She works with her hands, brings food from afar, she rises early and makes preparations, both for her family and her employees. (13, 14, 15)

Thirdly, she is a good business woman. But her work is wide-scoping: She buys property, she plants vineyards, she is a vigorous worker and her arms are strong, her trading is profitable, she sells her wares and supplies merchants with merchandise. (16, 17, 18, 19, 24)

Fourthly, she is a woman of wisdom. She speaks words of wisdom and is a woman of good instruction. She is kind and generous to others less fortunate. (20, 26)

Lastly, she watches faithfully over her family. She makes sure they are safe, she is not idle, she is clothed in dignity and strength, and she does not stop watching for their safety by night. She does not eat the bread of idleness. (21, 25, 27)

04. Know your strengths

When we look at all this superwoman does and is, it can cause us to feel like there is no way we will ever measure up. But here’s your encouragement. Here is your hope.

I want you to really examine your life. I want you to think about the gifts and the strengths you have. And I want you to write them down. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

You may be a bargain shopper who will save every penny on the grocery budget. Or maybe you are excellent at scouring the back-to-school sales to get the best deals and offers. You are like the woman in verse 14.

You may be a talented seamstress who can alter clothing, sew magnificent bedding, and create all sorts of necessities for your home; afghans, quilts, curtains… You are like the women in verses 13, 19, 22, and 24.

Maybe you’re a teacher. You homeschool your children, you volunteer at church, you teach as a profession. You are like the women in verses 25 and 26.

You may volunteer your time; you are like the women in verses 15 and 20. You may be a professional who helps support her family financially; you are like the women in verses 16, 17, 18, 19, 22, and 24.

The point is, you are a version of the Proverbs 31 woman. You cannot do it all. But you can do the very best you can do with your gifts and your strengths.

05. Who are you?

So, who are you? Are you one of the many who feel overwhelmed? Are you trying to do it all? Have you really looked at your own strengths?

One day I was feeling particularly low. I had just stepped away from my corporate job, I was doing what I loved (writing and blogging), I was maintaining my home, I was exercising and feeling fit. But I was also overwhelmed. I had forfeit a good income to follow a dream. I had lost my daily routine, and what I see now, was my misplaced purpose.

Then, in one singular moment while waiting for my grocery pickup, I thought to myself, “Hey, I’m like the Proverbs 31 woman; brining my food from afar.” I laughed it off as a momentary joke. But then, later, I actually re-read the passage, and I realized that I have many of the attributes of the P31 woman.

So do you, friend. I encourage you today, if you are one who feels overwhelmed, take a moment and find your strengths. Know your gifts.

You are unique – and there is hope!