It’s no secret that I love good home decor style. It is also no secret that I have fallen down many a wayward decorating path because I have given in to trends or influence. In the 1990’s we had ducks with blue bonnets with bouquets of wheat. Then came the 2000’s Tuscan era. Currently, we’re into organic modern. These decor trends are all very different from each other. I can only guess that you, too, have had similar experiences with decorating your space. Well, fear not, dear friend! I have some tried and true advice to help you find your home decor style – beyond the trends, and beyond online influencers.
Determine Your Style
It is difficult to find your home decor style if you are uncertain which styles are available to you. Many people find their personal decorating style is a combination of multiple styles. So the first step is to understand what those style options are. Here are just a handful:
- Modern
- Traditional
- Boho
- Organic Modern
- Eclectic
- Farmhouse / Modern Farmhouse / English Farmhouse
- Industrial
- Mid-Century Modern
- Cottage core
- Transitional
- Minimalist / Maximalist
- English Countryside
- Plus so much more…
You can understand why there is often confusion, and how many homes are a combination of many home decor styles. I could go into great lengths explaining each of these, but I found an amazing resource from Bobby / Berk that does a much better job than I ever could. I’ll leave it in the resources section below for you.
Know What You Love
How many times have you purchased something because it was on sale, it was being discontinued, or was a thrift store find? Upon bringing it home, you determined the color wasn’t right, the scale was off, something about it just didn’t set well, it didn’t ‘fit in’ with the rest of your house, or….you just didn’t like it. It’s alright! This happens to all of us who are on a mission to make our spaces beautiful.
An important step in finding your decor style is to know what you love. I recommend Pinterest for this. (Here’s a shameless plug for the Forward Our Mail Pinterest board where you can find some inspiration.) It is really important to scour many different styles and really hone in on what you love about each photo you save. Maybe you find an emerging color pallet, or a recurring sofa style. You may discover a penchant for kitchens of the 1950s or that you’re exceptionally drawn to tiny houses. The point is, you never know what you may discover about your personal home decor style until you dive deep into the things you like, and discover the elements you love.
Don’t Allow Yourself to be Easily Influenced
Well, that’s easier said than done! It is so easy to be influenced by online personalities. They don’t have to be famous, they just have to be charismatic. It is easy to see what is being shared on an Amazon live and experience the fear of missing out before the item is no longer available. We follow links in blog posts just like this one and add to cart before we really assess if the item is right for us. It’s cheap, they love it, I might as well love it!
However, if you understand your home decor style, and you know what you love, and if it suits your family’s needs, then you should be able to style your home without being easily influenced. Before adding to cart, picking up the latest Target trend, or thrifting a certain ceramic, ask yourself if it truly fits your home decor style, or if this is simply something you saw trending on Instagram.
Cue the Nostalgia
It’s hard to walk away from good memories. Thrift stores, tag sales, and antique shops are notoriously full of nostalgia. One question I often ask when I’m browsing a thrift store or scouring an antique booth is if I’m drawn to an item because it triggers a familiar feeling. Feelings of nostalgia are often highly motivating but that doesn’t mean every piece we see has a place in our home.
Example: I often see black metal lunch boxes from the 1950s in our local antique mall. Each time I am nearly tempted beyond reason to purchase one even though I have no real purpose for it, certainly don’t have a need for it, and don’t really want to spend $20 for it. The overwhelming nostalgia is there because I remember my dad packing his lunch in one of these black metal lunch boxes every day. I’m still astounded those room temperature bologna sandwiches with mayonnaise didn’t give him food poisoning. Maybe the apple a day really did keep the doctor away. But I digress.
What I’m encouraging you to do is to allow the feeling of nostalgia to happen. Feel it, enjoy it, smile about the memory. But ask yourself where you will put this item, if it is really important to you, or if simply remembering is enough.
Name Your Price
This may be one of the most beneficial life lessons I’ve learned. It’s one I’ve happily passed on to my children. It is something I use when thrifting or antiquing, but you can apply it to online shopping or in-store shopping as well.
When I encounter an item in a thrift shop or antique store, I determine before I pick it up what price I am willing to pay for said item. For example, the black metal lunch box. The first time I saw one in an antique shop, I said to myself, “I would be willing to pay $10 for that.” When I picked up the tag and it read nearly $25, I knew immediately it was not something I wanted to take home with me.
Intentionally name a price you are willing to pay and do not negotiate with yourself after the fact. This practice can save you countless dollars, and countless trips returning things to the store – or donating them again later. It isn’t only a practice for second-hand shopping. You can do this with any store. Hobby Lobby, for instance, generally has items marked at 40-50-60+ percent off. When you find an item you are drawn to, ask yourself before you pick it up, how much you are actually willing to spend for this piece. When you view the price tag, (and apply that stunning discount,) you will know without doubt whether the item is worth your money.
Let Go of Perfection
And now to the crux of it. You have to let go of the idea of perfection. There are countless television shows where whole rooms are transformed in a single day and endless photos of put-together rooms. Online searches return so much visual information you can barely sort through it all. We can be left feeling hopeless and overwhelmed before we ever start.
The thing about that hopeless overwhelm is it tends to lead to overconsumption and buying items we may not actually love, or that suit our family. So do yourself a favor, and let go of the idea that there is a perfect. Find your personal home decor style and begin developing it. Maybe you really like the ducks in blue bonnets from 1992. If that’s your style and it suits your family’s needs, no one can tell you it’s wrong. It’s about knowing what works for you, what brings you joy, and what serves those you are entrusted to love.
Learn to Say Goodbye
Finding your home decor style will inevitably lead to discarded treasures. This is a way of life, and it is part of the learning process. Knowing what you love also means knowing what you don’t love. That afghan you once treasured for its brightly knit colors may not be your favorite any more. The set of modern black and white dishes you purchased because the online influencer raved about them, may not practically suit your family. An antique vase may not actually look as great in your home as it did in the Pinterest photo. It’s OKAY!
Learn to say goodbye to items you no longer love, that don’t function well, or don’t serve your family’s needs. In publishing, there is thing called white space. It gives the eye a place to rest among all the written words. Our homes need white space, as well. We need breathing room and moments of calm to appreciate the things we have so thoughtfully curated.
If you are unsure where to begin, start by clearing your space. It may be a whole room, or just a coffee table. Let it sit empty for a few days, let yourself get used to the blank slate. Then, you can begin to carefully re-introduce the things you truly love and need. Store away the rest for another time, or donate the things you’re ready to part with permenantly.
Discover Your Home
Finally, you will begin to develop and recognize what home feels like to you. You will develop and build your personal and authentic home decor style. It will be all your own, and it will suit your family’s needs. One day you will look around and say, “This feels like home.” You will have style peace in your space, you’ll love what you have and have what you love, and you’ll feel a sense of yourself in this place you call home.
It may not look like the Pinterest photos, or the Instagram story. It may not look like Crate and Barrel, West Elm, or HGTV. But it will look and feel like you!
What you’ll soon discover, is that home isn’t about the house you live in, the apartment you lease, or the rental house with the garden plot out back. Home is a place for giving and sharing, loving and blessing. Home is about you and your family, the ones you’re entrusted to love, and the others you’re privileged to serve.
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