Romanticizing real life is when we let go of comparison, accept daily life with gratitude, and see the beauty in the world around us. I’ve been accused since a young age of romanticizing my life. I’ve recently been thinking a lot about this. It was meant as a criticism, but I always felt like it was such a compliment. Ironic, isn’t it? That I would romanticize something ugly someone said, and flip the script to make me happier in my life choices.
Let’s talk for a minute about what it means to romanticize something. The New York Times put it this way, ““It’s being positive about the things that life has to offer, regardless of whether the circumstance is what you imagined or wanted.” I think that has always come naturally for me. I mean, I love a good rainy Monday because it offers a slower start to the new week. It’s fine with me if the weather turns nasty during a vacation because it means fewer crowds, lower temperatures, and moments we won’t soon forget. I’m even okay with it when something unexpected throws my plans askew. I guess I just look at the positive.
If that’s romanticizing real life, then I’m here for it!
What about Elizabeth Lane?
Have you seen the 1945 movie, Christmas in Connecticut? Elizabeth Lane, portrayed by Barbara Stanwyck, is a single New York writer for a ladies magazine. She spends her days sitting in her tiny apartment writing about her imaginary Connecticut farm, food she cooks from scratch, her garden, and her adoring husband and baby. Of course, none of it is true. Her public, and publisher know nothing of this, by the way. Her life is a complete farce! She can’t cook, kills every plant in her apartment, and has no marriage prospects.
I sometimes feel like Elizabeth Lane as I sit at my tiny kitchen table, writing to you about kitchen organization, downsizing our belongings, and living like a local. But the truth is, we are actually doing those things; we are living the dream – and loving every minute of it!
So why do I bring up Elizabeth Lane? I guess to assure you that what I write is both from the heart, and absolutely true. When we started talking about this dream of ours several years ago, people thought we were either nuts. One person even said to me, “Good luck with that!” As if we wouldn’t follow through, as if it was just a pipe dream, as if we wouldn’t make it happen. Yet, here we are. And here YOU are! Following along with us. We’re so glad you’re here.
Isn’t it Romantic!?
Romanticizing real life doesn’t mean you ignore the troubles of the day, the stressors, and the chaos. Oh no. Please don’t imagine I’m saying that. Life is full of struggles of all kinds. I have mine and I know you have yours. Life isn’t instagram perfect. Which leads me to my next point.
We see so much content that is Instagram worthy – perfect photos, high achievements, and doctored images. While these things have a basis in reality, what we are allowed to see often has no resemblance to reality. The perfect home photos come after hours of staging, photographing, over and over again. The high achievements we see sometimes come with a cost just as high; one of stress, anxiety, and depression. Doctored images are carefully crafted to remove imperfections and flaws so all we see is what is meant to be projected.
But true romanticizing of real life is more about being grateful in the every day blessings. It’s about being thankful for our daily bread and recognizing when our cup runneth over. Romanticizing real life means finding joy in the stack of laundry, neatly folded and stacked. It’s about finding purpose in putting away clean dishes, making a simple dinner, and taking pleasure in caring for and serving our family. It’s about remaining positive, and governing gratitude.
Beauty in the Mundane
As I sit today at my tiny antique garden table-turned dining table, I watch the maintenance crew mow the green space outside my window, I listen to soothing guitar music, and smell the last of my summer candle. And as I sit here, I realize I have the opportunity to live the life of my dreams.
As a teenager of a broken home, my high school teachers would often ask me what I wanted to do, or be. My answer was always immediate and there was never a hint of doubt: I wanted to be a wife and homemaker. How is that for romanticizing? A teenage girl from a divorced family only wanted to be a wife and homemaker. And what’s even more ironic is that every job I’ve held has always felt like an intrusion to my dream. I simply wanted to take care of my home and my family.
While life isn’t always beautiful or idilic, I believe there are always moments where we can see the beauty around us and romanticize real life – if we practice.
Six Simple Ways to Get Started
If all of this sounds amazing, but somehow out of reach, allow me to offer a few suggestions to get you started. Romanticizing real life doesn’t mean buying new things, spending extra money, or creating more stress for yourself. It simply means finding ways to add a dose of appreciation into you day – even if you’re the only one who sees it.
- Wake up early – even if it’s just 15 minutes – for a hot beverage and a dose of silence. Don’t pick up your phone, turn on the tv, or read the news headlines. Simply sit with yourself in the quiet, and soak it all in. You’ll be amazed at how this simple act can reform an entire day.
- Get dressed for yourself. Finding outfits you love, and love to wear, and then wearing them for yourself will always bring a heightened sense of comfort to your day. Feeling good about yourself is easy when you look and feel good in what you have on. So why not ditch the yoga pants and joggers and show up for yourself today?
- Set the mood! I’m a firm believer in mood lighting. In fact, I rarely use overhead lighting. Having a table top lamp, a lamp on the kitchen counter, or a few candles really bring in ambience and sooth the mood of the household.
- Soothing music is always a welcome way to romanticize real life. When my days are feeling chaotic and stress filled, I find a great instrumental guitar playlist – or a YouTube channel with a fantastic aesthetic and let it slowly transform the atmosphere in my space.
- Familiar fragrances will help you romanticize life. I find that lighting a candle, putting on a simmer pot, or baking something as simple as store-bought cookie dough, can lift my mood and help me appreciate the little things even more.
- Prioritize rest – just like getting up a few minutes early every morning is beneficial, so is signaling to your body that it’s time to rest. We all know about the effects of blue light on our our sleep, and still we scroll until we doze off. Instead, try a good book, a cup of tea, or an evening skincare routine. Soon, your body will recognize it’s time to relax, and will you’ll begin to look forward to your nightly routine.
- Bonus – Practice gratitude. Even when life is crazy-making, there are always things to be grateful full. Practice and cultivate a grateful heart, and you’ll begin to see the good that is all around you!
Life may be chaotic and stressful, but we have it within our reach to see the good in things, enjoy stolen moments, and practice gratitude.
Best Wishes,
John & Billie
